Day Two 

Yesterday morning, on my day one, before walking my dog I knew I was going to need help. The mornings started at about 4am with me waking up - saying today this is it. i have to stop this. (right now i have decided to stop trying to be perfect and make sure my grammar is correct). so i am just going to type. type to save myself. 

anyway, yesterday morning, i knew i was going to need help. i love podcasts and i did a search on my podcast app for sober something or other. and up came "belle's one minute messages-tired of thinking about drinking". i downloaded all fifty of them. i set out on my walk and started to listen. her voice is like a soothing ocean. she tells it like she lives it. walking and listening was like putting aloe on a sunburn. it took the sting away for that moment.

i kept listening and walking. listening and walking. then she said this in episode omm108 sobriety suits you, "being sober suits you. nobody needs to drink. things get better. being sober suits you. keep doing this thing." i lost it right there. i continued to walk with those words in my head, crying. a lump so big that I thought i might just drop to my knees. "being sober suits you. keep doing this thing." even now writing those words they strike a cord within me and move me to tears. 

when i got back from my walk, I went online and bought belle's book, "Tired of Thinking About Drinking-Take My 100 Day Sober Challenge." I listened to the introduction on my drive into work and i listened three or four more times to the 50 one minute messages again. i kept saying to myself "sober suits you". "sober suits you." "sober suits you" "keep doing this thing". i am ready. 

i write here to keep me on track. sober suits me. i keep saying it. i will keep on saying it. For 100 days. for this moment. right now. keep doing this thing. 

and when 6pm comes around, i am going to keep doing this thing.

sober suits me.